Saturday, 12 March 2011

Dwarvish Pickles and other culinary adventures

Fragment # 1

"Dwarvish pickles and Chutneys are second to none.  I would heartily recommend the combination of Nazouralian Oat Plates, mature cave-cured mouflon cheese and a good ten year old Dwarvish chutney, washed down with some heather ail or de-fortified Fjoar. A rich mountain feast!

However, avoid shank of trilobite marinaded in vintage algal ferment - the must stink clings to the back of the tongue for a good half-moon. The trilobite 'globes' in earth-ball vinegar are a different mater entirely, and recommended in moderation."

Fragment # 2

Dwarvish bowls and spoon.

"Dwarvish Bowls

The two bowls pictured are from Garthvanittborgoch. Pot # 1 is a typical eating bowl, I am told identical to ones used in the lower countries.  The shape owes its existence to the Dwarvish preference for low things.  This bowl will have more of the lower part of a soup, and is thus considered to lend the food a higher quality, without letting it go cold.  The spoons go with a specific bowl to which they are shaped. This is annoying to the outsider, who wishes they would instead concentrate on shaping spoons to the mouth...

Pot # 2 is a traveling pot, spherical only to keep the heat. The lid is made from a bladder (unspecified) treated with chemicals and then lashed to a mettle collar at the bottom of the pot this renders it waterproof, allowing it to be chucked into the pack with out consideration of leakage.  Chutney pots are of a similar design, though are conical rather than spherical..."

Fragment # 3

"Dwarvish washing up consists of placing the dirty vessels and cutlery into a soupy chemical bath, followed by a pure water rinse - no scrubbing, but very thick gloves."


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